Jade Vine

this is not a rap song this is a fap song

god faps in heaven to me / god!! god don’t fuck with me like that! at least come down here on earth where the air smells like teen spirit / at least look me in the eye / eye on the prize sir! look! i’m earnest & a mosquito bite away from cumming inside my pants at a restaurant that don’t even serve my favorite dish / i’m headlining the newspapers i’m breathing clever and slow / my hand sticks out of my uterus reaching to grab the first dick it sees / be careful penises! in this house we practise sleight of hand / in this house we practise being too much for men everywhere / i have been called too intense too many times / i think i love it / but i’m not telling the men that / can you keep this between us god / can i trust you on this / even the camera flash is disappointed when i focus at the moon / where are you god if not here / the world is ur oyster or ur bathroom if you rlly insist / if it’s any consolation i fapped to my reflection in the mirror kept inside the bathroom / i am newly hungry / i hunger like a prized possession / i hunger my own flesh / i bite into my hand thinking it’s urs / i taste sweet like rotisserie chicken & sour like piss or maybe red bull but i haven’t tasted red bull / god i’m waiting for you to prove me wrong to tell me that piss isn’t sour / i’m waiting for you to tell the world abt ur piss kink finally we’ll have something in common / god i’m in love with a boy he makes my soul jizz kids if you’re reading this i meant jazz / god every boy i have loved is in ur image and it’s a shame i haven’t even seen you

Jade Vine (it/its/they/them) is a queer, transgender/agender anarchist, poet, essayist, and teaching artist from Chandigarh, India. It is the author of Heaven is Only a Part of Our Body Where All the Sickness Resides (Ghost City Press, 2018) and The End Is Not Apocalypse But Another Morning Where Everyone Tells Me I’m Dead (Yavanika Press, 2021). Its work has appeared in Glass: A Journal of Poetry, Rust + Moth, Polyphony H.S, and elsewhere, and has been recognized by Bow Seat Ocean Awareness Student Contest, among other places. It is deeply inspired by the politics of indispensability. It is irredeemably hot that y'all are still reading this.